To my readers,
I’d like to apologies sincerely for the lack of activity on the blog lately. To say it’s been busy would be like saying the Titanic was only a minor incident in history… I’ve been working 24/7! Which although I’m grateful, is not necessarily a good thing. So I took a few well deserved days off this week.
My blog is my ‘happy place,’ in which I feel like I have direct connect with the people that matter most, YOU. (Yes I realise that sounds cheesy enough to make anyone sick)! But it’s true. I’ve missed you all.
Quick round up
Potentially the biggest event of my career yet. I had a head mic like Madonna for God’s sake! So it therefore seemed appropriate to randomly shout “Vogue!” The woman attaching it looked confused and said, “Erm no, this is Stylist..” (Why do I bother)?
Around about this point I also experienced the worst panic attack of my life. I champion ‘Exposure Therapy’, but even for me this was serious shit. Speaking in front of 185, on a stage. I even had someone introducing me!
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so frightened, and five minutes before it was due to start, all I could think was; “I can’t do this” on loop. The urge to bolt was overwhelming. I felt like I was in the ‘Upside Down’ (reference for Stranger Things fans). However, I looked at my left wrist where the word ‘WAIT’ is tattooed and this immediately reminded me of my coping technique. So I began to Belly breathe deeply and let ten seconds pass, IF after ten seconds I feel even 1% better than I have to stay. That’s the rule. And it worked.
I gave a talk on mental health in the workplace and the power of vulnerability. I wanted to empower everyone in that room. I think that people often forget that mental health is a huge spectrum. For example, you can feel depressed and not have depression, or feel anxious and not have anxiety. Sort of like how a cold is not as bad as the flu. If that makes sense?
Sadness, anger, stress, they all fall on this spectrum and are all valid!
I even had the opportunity to meet new people at my book signing. The main reason I started writing was to help people avoid making the same mistakes that I did, by treating anxiety like it’s something to be ashamed of. IT ISN’T.
I was nominated a second time for a Mind Award. Alas I didn’t win (maybe I’ll end up like Leonardo Dicaprio and his six year Oscar saga)! However, all of the nominees were fantastic and I truly mean that. Both Prince Harry and Stephen Fry were there… and my mum was sat in front of Lorraine Kelly (she was very excited).
Besides all that, I was mainly just in awe of every person in each category. It always fills me with hope, knowing that there are so many people working hard to break the stigma surrounding mental illness.